


steps in the dark

by distractionpie



Series: stay the night [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Hank and Gavin are partners, M/M, Secret Relationship, Single Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 19:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18835000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distractionpie/pseuds/distractionpie
Summary: This thing Gavin and Hank have going on works via an unspoken rule to not entangle other elements of their personal lives and that's... well, nothing else is on offer so being choosy is out of the question. But a late night encounter forces Gavin to confront an issue in their relationship he'd always been planning to skirt around.





	steps in the dark

Gavin bites the inside of his cheek. Gavin has been biting the inside of his cheek for what feels like hours, although he knows logically that it's something closer to forty-five minutes. It's hard to hold onto the knowledge though when every one of Hank's slow breaths behind him seem to take an age and are lulling Gavin into joining his deep rest.

But Gavin just bites down harder, tasting the metallic tang of blood where the delicate flesh has been bitten raw from dozens of other nights spent like this.

It doesn't have to be such a struggle, he could just roll out of the bed as soon as they're done, get dressed and leave before temptation has time to set in. But he wants this, nights spent laying in Hank's arms, soft skin on skin, closeness without urgency, even if he can only steal it in half-hour snatches.

It's been too long tonight though. If he waits much longer the pain might not be enough to keep him from falling.

As he levers one of Hank's arms up, slow and careful to make sure he doesn't wake his sleeping partner as he rolls out of his warm grip, Gavin remembers the first and only time he had given into temptation.

His recollections of drifting off in Hank's arms are sleep-fogged with a dream-like quality to them that suggests that they're half imagined up, but despite their indistinctness he’s certain that it was a thousand times better than this fumbling around in the darkness, trying to pick his own clothes out of the tangle discarded on the floor.

He remembers more comfortably the bliss of waking in Hank's arms, the warmth of being pressed up against him, the irrational feeling of safety, the slow moments when they hadn't fully woken enough to be cognizant of a world beyond the bed and their shared embrace.

As he pulls the now cold fabric of his shirt over his head, Gavin crushes down the yearning in chest, pushing soft memories from his mind and turning away from the bed.

None of it matters, because Gavin remembers sharply what had come next.

He tries not to think about it, hates the feeling it brings, and he only needs flashes to drive him out of here.

The sound in the hallway.

The way Hank's eyes had gone wide with alarm and with a blink all the affection had vanished from his gaze and been replaced with something frantic.

The blurted order: “Cole can't see you.”

Hank had fled the bed, leaving Gavin still reeling as he hastily dressed in what Gavin realised later was an attempt to forestall his son from coming into the bedroom searching for him.

Gavin's brain had caught up with the situation just as Hank was headed for the door and he'd sworn, scrambling from beneath the sheets. He'd overslept. What the fuck? Gavin never overslept, usually pissed off his bed partners with how light of a sleeper he was, jolting awake at the slightest disturbance. And yet sunlight had been slanting through the blinds and not the faint rays of dawn that Gavin usually saw as he went through his morning routine.

Hank had demanded he stay put and Gavin had been so thrown he'd obeyed, dressing and then waiting in the bedroom, waiting as Hank and Cole's morning played out in snippets of overheard domesticity.

He’d figured Hank would return when things were sorted out but instead he'd heard the front door shut and a few moments later received a text from Hank that just read: ‘all clear’ as if they were on a stakeout instead of having had spent the night together.

Gavin had been nearly an hour late to the precinct, unlike Hank his shifts weren't scheduled to account for the slow and elaborate routine of getting a kid to school at morning drop off time, and Fowler had still been in the process of dressing Gavin down in front of the whole precinct when Hank had arrived. Arrived and not cast a single glance Gavin’s way as he strode past the scene and settled at his desk.

He’d had take-out coffee, a single cup, and Gavin had fixated on it in the corner of his vision, wondering if it was because he'd had extra time that morning after rushing out to keep his son from finding out about Gavin or because the rushed escape hadn't given him time for whatever his usual breakfast routine was.

Gavin should have broken things off after that. It would have been awkward and painful, but getting involved with a guy who reacted with such horror at the thought of Gavin interacting with his son was such an obviously terrible idea. If the guy had been anybody other than Hank he's sure he'd have stayed away.

Instead, it has taken him barely days to cave. Maybe there was no future in it, and sure, all the sneaking around meant he was only getting a fraction of the relationship he wanted --not getting too comfortable at work for fear of slipping up and seeming unprofessional, never getting to go anywhere with Hank on his days off or evenings because Cole’s mom had given up all custody so Hank spent all of that time caring for Cole, Gavin only permitted to sneak in after the kid was asleep and then they’d talk shop or maybe if he was lucky watch some TV with the volume down low, ending up in Hank’s bed but never fully being able to let go because they had to be oh so quiet as to not wake the kid (and, okay, maybe Hank’s hand on his mouth was something Gavin was into, but he wished they had the option of mixing things up a little), and going home alone after, back to his empty apartment and cold bed-- but that fraction was better than nothing.

This is the worst part though, leaving Hank sleeping peacefully in bed, walking away from everything that he wants, down a silent hallway.

Until there’s a gasp, hurried footsteps, and the sound of the hall closet door slamming shut.

The lack of light makes it hard to tell, but Gavin didn’t make detective for no reason and either it’s a home invasion by an unusually small burglar, or Cole is awake.

God damn it.

Cole is awake and hiding in the hall closet, presumably because he’d seen Gavin in the darkness and has no reason not to think that Gavin is some sort of home invader.

Gavin hesitates. Hank doesn't want his kid knowing that Gavin comes over, but Gavin is also pretty sure Hank wouldn't want the kid hiding in the closet all night, terrified of the perceived intruder.

He could wake Hank, leave the man to deal with his own kid, but Hank is a deep sleeper and not his sharpest when he's just woke up (if he were he'd have told Gavin to go out the window that morning he'd overstayed his welcome – Gavin's not sure what his own excuse for not thinking of that is, except for the he jarring disorientation of going from resting in a lovers arms to being shown exactly where he stood).

Sure, even groggy, Hank is far more qualified than Gavin to deal with whatever childish problem has prompted his son to roam around this late, but it would also leave Hank making excuses for having somebody wandering through the house at night and Gavin doesn't know what he'd say.

Gavin isn't sure he wants to know what lies Hank would tell about him.

He knocks on the closet door.

“Hey, Cole,” he says softly. “Sorry if I scared you. It’s Gavin... Detective Reed. I'm your Dad's partner. Uh, his work partner. We met, sorta, at the DPD barbecue last summer.” And, in hindsight, how fast Hank had rustled his son away from Gavin probably should have been a clue to the limits Hank was gonna place on their relationship, but Cole must remember the interaction because the closet door creaks open.

Cole’s pale face stares up at him with wide watery eyes.

“D-Detective Reed?”

He’s been crying, and not because Gavin frightened him, the redness of his eyes and the distance the tear tracks and snot have run down his face suggest it was more than a brief burst of fear.

For a moment, Gavin deeply regrets not waking Hank and avoiding this whole encounter.

“Gavin is fine, kid. Want me to go wake your dad?” he asks. His stomach churns at the prospect of facing Hank and telling him that not only is his son aware of Gavin's presence but they've been talking, but he's the adult here so whatever is wrong with the kid has to take presence over his discomfort. If Cole were just fetching a glass of water then Gavin could have ushered him back to bed, but tears are _way_ about Gavin’s paygrade.

Cole shakes his head.

Damn. “Do _you_ want to go to your dad?”

Another shake of the head, fast and with a stubborn look that Gavin has seen way too many times on Hank’s face to think arguing will get him anywhere.

“Okay, well...” oh fuck, this is way _way_ outside of Gavin’s expertise. He’s pretty sure the last time he talked to a kid this age was when he was one. Is Cole old enough for talking to him like an adult to be acceptable? “Do you want...” No, guessing is stupid. “What’s up? Not sneaking out, I hope.”

That shitty joke prompts a little huff from Cole that might have been laugh if the kid wasn’t so worked up. He shakes his head, stepping out of the closet to join Gavin properly.

“No, I just... I know there isn’t such thing as monsters,” Cole says, and there’s something in his decisive tone that suggests he’s assuring himself of this. “But I had a dream and...” He takes a deep shuddering breath. “It’s less scary in the lounge. Sumo will be there.”

Big, friendly dog. Of course that would make the kid feel safer.

“Good thinking,” Gavin says, dropping a hand to Cole’s shoulder and guiding him down the hall.

He flicks a lamp on when they get to the living area and immediately the whole place feels warmer and more welcoming, not like eerie vibe Gavin always gets from it when he’s sneaking out.

The dumb dog is curled up on his cushion, utterly undisturbed by the fact there are two people up and walking around the house. It’s a good thing Hank doesn’t use him as a guard dog.

While Cole makes his way over to the couch, Gavin goes to the kitchen area, ripping several paper towels off the roll and bringing them back to Cole because the kid is kind of a mess.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, then proceeds to blow his nose into them with a loud honking sound that Gavin wouldn’t have expected from a kid so small.

“No problem.” The door is right there, but Gavin feels weird about just walking out and leaving the kid in this state.

He settles on the couch beside Cole, feeling strange and out of place even though he’d been sat on the same couch hours earlier watching old Black Mirror reruns with Hank. “So, monsters, huh?”

Cole nods. “It’s my own fault. My free reading book is about spooky legends. Dad said not to read it before bed but...”

Well, that explains why he hadn’t wanted to wake Hank for comfort.

“When I was a couple of years older than you, I watched a movie so scary I couldn’t sleep for weeks,” Gavin offers. He still fucking shudders at clowns. “Didn’t get in trouble though, but ‘lijah did for showing it to me.”

“Who’s ‘lijha?” Cole asks.

Gavin pauses. It’s not something he shares often, it’s not in his personnel file and nobody who didn’t grow up with him is aware of it. But even if Cole relays the information, it’s not like Elijah is a super rare name. There are probably dozens in the city alone. “He was my step-brother. But our parents split up a little while after that and we stopped talking.”

Cole frowns. “Oh. I’m sorry. I think it’d be cool to have a brother or sister, instead of just being me, Dad, and Sumo.”

Shrugging Gavin says, “Nah, he was pretty annoying. I thought the same as you, but then I met him. You’ve got it good here.” Of course, he can’t imagine what it must be like for Cole growing up with a absent mom, but Hank clearly dotes on him so it’s hard to imagine that he could be unhappy with his situation.

“Amaya in my class has a step-mom now,” Cole remarks thoughtfully, leaning back in a way that also settles his weight against Gavin’s arm. “And a step-sister and a baby half-brother. Maybe if my Dad gets married again I could have a brother or sister that way.”

“I...” Fuck. Gavin swallows, trying not to tense up. Hank sure as shit isn’t going to be getting remarried any time soon when he spends his downtime keeping up the dirty little secret he has with Gavin. There’s no reasonable way to convey that information to his son though -- even if Gavin’s already messed up the part where Hank didn’t want Cole to know Gavin ever came around. “It could happen,” he concedes, and then adds, perhaps meanly, “I wouldn’t get your hopes up though, kid. Being a cop is hard on relationships.” Having a kid is hard on them too, but Gavin manages to bite that part back at least. He doesn’t actually want to hurt the kid.

Cole looks puzzled. “But he saves people. Surely--” Cole yawns. “--surely lots of people would want to marry a hero?”

Gavin sighs. “Yeah, but the saving people business is hard work. Doesn’t leave a lot of time for other stuff, like finding someone to marry.”

“Are you married?”

Gavin laughs aloud at that.

“No kiddo,” he says, then catches himself in a yawn -- damn that contagious instinct. “I’m not--” not marriage material; emotionally available, what with being too hung up on Cole’s father to consider another relationship even if what he has with Hank can never go anywhere... “No. I’m not married.”

“Uh-huh,” Cole gives a sleepy nod. “My cousin got married last year. I had to wear a suit and it was really boring. If my dad does get married, I hope it’s not like that.”

Me too, Gavin thinks, but he just says, “Buddy, you should see the sh-- stuff they get up to on the wedding channel. I bet your cousin’s got nothing on cable TV.”

There’s silence. Gavin glances down and realises that Cole has nodded off against his arm.

Well shit.

Seems like the kid shook off the fright pretty quickly after all. When Gavin had nightmares as a kid he’d spend hours sitting up with his flashlight listening to the quiet noises of the house as he waited for his nerves to settle, but Cole is apparently made of tougher stuff.

Sliding Cole towards the cushion, he starts planning his second attempt at a retreat, but as soon as Cole is lifted away from him the kid starts to stir, grumbling as his eyelids flutter.

Huh.

Gavin lets the kid sink back against his side with a frown.

Apparently Cole might fall asleep as suddenly as his father but he didn’t inherit Hank’s deep sleep instinct. Or maybe it’s just residual restlessness from the nightmares.

Waking him seems unkind, but Gavin already stayed later in Hank’s bed than he ought to have and settling Cole has taken more time when he didn’t have any to spare to begin with.

He’s never said no when Hank’s invited him over, but there’s no getting around the fact it’s exhausting, and not just the vigours of sex , it’s the staying up to enjoy the little time he can have in Hank’s bed then the whole process of sneaking out to make the long drive home, the roads might be quite this time of night but Hank lives halfway to the fucking suburbs. And Gavin's still gotta be up at dawn the next morning for work.

He needs to go.

Gavin’s eyes are heavy and settling into this warm spot on the sofa is only going to make going home harder, but he can wait a few more minutes. After all, it shouldn’t take too much longer for Cole to sink into a deep enough slumber that he won’t notice Gavin moving him.

Just for a few more minutes.

 


End file.
